On being disillusioned by a significant other
pp. 41-79
in: , Intimacy, transcendence, and psychology, Berlin, Springer, 2008Abstract
When we are genuinely surprised by someone we know well, the surprise is likely to become a milestone in the relationship with that person. In the previous chapter, we looked at the experience of coming to be present to the other "as if for the first time." In this experience, we discover in a compelling and concrete way that the personhood of the other far exceeds the image we had of him or her. A deepening of the relationship characteristically follows.